Now, here’s a simple and efficient strategy to make people confide more in you: Start your questions with «out of curiosity». Your questions will seem less threatening and much more informal. Instead of saying to a friend, «Why are you late?» You might ask, «Out of curiosity, why are you late?». Do you see a difference between these two questions? Which is more peaceful in your opinion?
It’s also much easier to be convincing when you start by asking questions and listening. When I was shopping for a house after my daughter was born, I was appalled by the willingness of real estate brokers to be interesting (in opposition to «interested»). Too often I have been praised the merits of a large lot, fashionable colors, numerous kitchen cabinets, etc. It would have been so much easier and more efficient for the broker to have paid attention to my needs. What mattered most to me was living in a safe family neighborhood for the sake of my beautiful little girl. To convince a client, a neighbor, a friend or even a spouse, you will be persuasive and effective in your argument if you take the time to know your interlocutor in the first place.
To create a WOW effect, be interested rather than interesting. Too many people fall into the trap of trying to impress at all costs. When we speak, we please sometimes. When we listen, we please all the time! Especially when you do it with enthusiasm!
