An exercise that changed my life: The inner roommate
The following content is taken from the keynote: The WOW effect in work-life balance.
Today, I share with you the exercise that has made me evolve the most over the past 10 years. To start, let’s take a step back. We all have a voice in our head, a voice that talks continuously, that comments on everything, that constantly repeats certain elements of the past and that often changes topics (and even opinions) in seconds. Some people call it the hamster, others the wrecker, others the indoor roommate. A few people have even admitted to me that they have a complete family in their minds. 🙂 If you don’t know which voice I’m talking about, it’s the one giving you its comments (positive and/or negative) right now. She has probably already judged certain aspects of this page, noticed if there were any spelling mistakes or not, and evaluated the length of the text to know if it was worth reading the whole thing. 🙂
The exercise that changed (read here, drastically improved!) my life is the following. Imagine that your inner roommate (the voice in your head) is now a physical person. Now imagine that this person is sitting next to you while you are watching your favorite Netflix program or TV show. It starts: “This episode seems boring! Anyway, you should work out or play sports instead of just sitting there and watching a screen! Mmm… nahhh, you’re working hard these days and it’s okay for you to relax. Oh look!!! She looks like Judy!! Judy, it’s been a long time since you heard from her. Call her! No, later. No, Sunday, you will have more time on Sunday! What is wrong with me of always reporting to later. What are you eating tonight? Something healthy? Go to bed early because you have a big day tomorrow. I need go on vacation! But the prices have gone up so much…”
After only 5 minutes, you can’t take it anymore. Clearly, this person is mentally ill. It comments on everything she sees… and then comments on her own comments. It changes her mind and defends two contradictory opinions in less than 5 sentences. It can also glorify you and then make you feel guilty in seconds. Above all, It never shuts up.
Moreover, if you’re savvy, you’ll notice that your inner roommate is never satisfied (and never will be)…and can make up trouble with just about anything. Honestly, when is the last time you had absolutely no issues? You may now see that the cause of almost all your problems is not life itself, but your inner roommate’s dramatic scenarios.
What you have done in the past… is less important than what this voice is telling you. What’s to come in the future… is less scary than what this voice is telling you. You are a much more magnificent person than this voice tells you. ❤
True freedom is to step back and observe that voice. Above all, to realize every day that it is not you. It is simply a voice (your ego) speaking. Nothing else. Nothing is more important for your personal happiness to realize that you are not that voice that speaks in your head. In other words, just don’t take your thoughts too seriously. Once you start noticing that it’s just your voice talking, you won’t be constantly reacting to it and your life will change… for the better. ❤
In the next article, I’ll share one of my best strategies for managing my inner roommate. Thank you for reading this blog article, I’m grateful for it.
Two funny videos
We find the concept of “inner roommate” in many humorous advertisements. Here are two. In the first, the main character’s inner roommate still thinks of himself in a virtual meeting following the pandemic. In the second, we can observe that our reactions are sometimes limited by our linguistic knowledge. 😊
An inspiring reading recommendation
The whole concept of “inner roommate”, I owe it to the wonderful book “The untethered soul” by Michael Singer. This book (and also the audio version) changed my life.
What can you do each day to find serenity and inner peace? The untethered soul offers simple and practical answers to this question. In particular, the author draws your attention to the relationship you have with your thoughts and emotions in order to help you improve your inner energy.
Whether you are exploring your inner world for the first time or are already on the journey to knowing yourself better, this book will transform your relationship with yourself, and thus, with the world around you. Enjoy!